The History of Emonkeyporn.com is really an age old tales in which a group of men and women rise to the occasion to make some really, really good primate smut. Like most ahead-of-its-time ideas, Emonkeyporn’s creation seemed to be an endless uphill struggle, filled with strife that tested its creators both professionally and personally. Through countless name changes, corporate by-outs, hostile takeovers and a bevy of bounced checks, Emonkeyporn is the best monkey porn site that almost wasn’t.
Content with our eventual success, we never felt the need to burden you with our past. We didn’t want to overshadow the terrific product we give you with tales of woe and strife. In any case, you the readers have spoken…and your cries echo across the vast expanses of the internet and into our hairy, monkey ears.
Us monkeys are scared and confused by the human concept of ‘time’ but the legends say it was 1978 when a landmark movie was about to drop on Hollywood. The Clint Eastwood movie ‘Any Which Way But Loose’ was released, and with it monkey Mania quickly struck Hollywood. Studios were gobbling up untouched monkey talent by the spoonful, and every starry-eyed monkey in the jungle was leaving home to get their piece of this delicious banana-filled pie.
With little more than thier tail to their name, furry, funny monkeys quickly overran Hollywood. Trendy clubs and restaurants had no choice but to cater to the primate influx, and a whole new ‘Monkey Culture’ or ‘Multure’ emerged. Multure was a frantic, glitzy lifestyle of tree-swinging parties and constant apple eating. Clyde, the famous monkey from the ‘Any Which Way’ series was often seen with 2 of the 3 monkeys from the Tony Danza vehicle ‘Going Ape’, forming the Brat Pack of Multure.
The deep pockets of the newly monkey rich knew no limits as multure showed no signs of slowing. The primates unsatisfied appetites for extravagance gave way to violence, and Hollywood’s golden monkeys became soon the bad boys of multure, covering club after club in thrown feces. Hollywood was fed up with multure and ready to send all monkeys back to their jungle homes, had it not been for 2 brave monkeys who knew how to spell satisfaction…MONKEY STYLE!
In the jungles of western Appalachia, Dr. Munky Kong Esq. was the leader of his tribe. A dreamer at heart, he was known for his wacky schemes and seemingly countless escapades with the female apes. He saw Hollywood as ‘just another jungle that needs my leadership”. He also was interested in finding some famous female apes to diddle, namely Angela Landsbury.
On the other side of the world, Lord Apey Von TreeNütz was the jester of his southern Texas tribe, and was known for grunting loudly at apes 3 times his size, which usually earned TreeNütz a savage monkey beating or 3. He saw Hollywood as an opportunity to get some of his monkey scribblings made into films. He also saw it as a chance to stop getting beat up so often, or at least to get beat by new, more famous people.
Like brothers of the same destiny, the two headed to Hollywood and landed a small part in the same film almost immediately. Both playing extras, Apey Von TreeNütz met up with Munky Kong during the filming of ‘Project X’.
During your standard monkey smoke break both Munky and Apey noticed how much the other apes just wanted some ‘good ol' hairy poon’. Munkey saw opportunity in his co-workers frustrations, but he needed someone’s help. Someone who could help Munkey navigate the wilds of Hollywood, someone who could turn Munkeys ideas into marketable fluff. That someone was Apey, and before even completing 1 full day of shooting, Munkey and Apey quit and began a dream.
Part 2:A few Good Female Monkeys